Finding your true identity in today’s world can feel like an uphill battle, especially when society insists on pigeonholing people into categories based on race, religion, or appearance. For a light-skinned Black man, or anyone from a minority group, the struggle to find one’s identity is compounded by how the world sees them versus how they see themselves. Society can be quick to judge, and it’s easy to feel lost in a world that seems more concerned with mediocrity and surface-level labels than with truly understanding who a person is.

Imagine growing up in a world where you’re not Black enough for some, but not White enough for others. For someone who is light-skinned or biracial, navigating this confusing space can be deeply challenging. The world feels the need to force people into clear-cut boxes, but people—especially those from mixed backgrounds—don’t always fit into those neat little categories. Instead, they live in the space between. The challenge lies in reconciling how you see yourself with how others see you, and finding the courage to stay true to your authentic self despite external pressures.

This struggle is even more intense when the world rewards mediocrity and conformity over individuality. Society praises those who follow the “norms”—the ones who don’t stand out or make waves. Being unique, complex, or having a non-conventional background can sometimes feel like a disadvantage in a world that values predictability. But isn’t this exactly what makes the journey of finding one’s identity so important?

For many people from different races, religions, or backgrounds, the struggle to define who they are isn’t just about their outward appearance. This journey of self-discovery can be especially difficult when the narrative is shaped by people who’ve never walked in your shoes. Society wants to categorize people into neat boxes: Black, White, Asian, Muslim, Christian, and so on. But identity is fluid. It’s shaped by personal experiences, cultural influences, and the choices we make.

A powerful example of this struggle can be found in Cliff Kerr’s memoir One Drop Identity. In his book, Kerr recounts his own journey of self-discovery as a light-skinned Black man. From an early age, Kerr was confronted with the tension between how others saw him and how he saw himself. His search for identity wasn’t just about race, but about his place in a world that often forces people to choose one side or the other. Throughout the memoir, Kerr grapples with these questions of identity, ultimately learning that he doesn’t have to fit neatly into anyone’s idea of what he should be. What Kerr teaches us is that finding your identity is about embracing your complexity, and understanding that your true self doesn’t have to fit into anyone’s mold.