In an independent world, self-reliance is a virtue. We are taught from a young age to stand on our own feet, solve problems without asking for help, and push through difficulties without leaning on others. But have you ever stopped to wonder if being too self-reliant can have drawbacks? While self-reliance is undoubtedly important, there are times when we crave connection and support from others. So, what causes us to become overly self-reliant, and is it always a good thing?

Self-reliance stems from a combination of cultural influences and personal experiences. In many societies, there’s a significant emphasis on individual success and independence. We see it in the media, at school, and in the workplace. From a young age, we are encouraged to “do it yourself” and avoid burdening others with our struggles. But there’s another side to this. Some of us become self-reliant because of past experiences of being let down by others, or because we were taught not to show vulnerability. For some, it’s a defense mechanism – a way to protect ourselves from disappointment or hurt.

But, while self-reliance can be empowering, it can also become isolating. Humans are social creatures, and sometimes, the desire to rely on others is a natural and healthy part of life. After all, no one can do everything alone forever. There are moments when we need to share our burdens, express our emotions, or seek support. This is where self-reliance can feel like a double-edged sword – we may find ourselves so focused on doing it all ourselves that we forget the value of connection and interdependence.

There’s no denying, whatsoever, the importance of self-reliance. When we learn to rely on ourselves, we become stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to handle difficult situations. It’s the strength that helps us keep going when no one else is there.

A powerful example of this can be found in Cliff Kerr’s memoir One Drop Identity. Throughout the book, Kerr describes his journey of self-reliance as he navigates the challenges of growing up biracial and grapples with questions of identity. There are times in the story when Kerr feels completely isolated, relying on his strength to make sense of his place in the world. His journey is a reminder that self-reliance is important.

In conclusion, self-reliance is undeniably a valuable trait. It helps us face challenges head-on, but it shouldn’t isolate us from the world or make us feel like we have to do everything alone. As we learn to navigate life’s ups and downs, the key is to recognize when it’s time to rely on ourselves, and when it’s time to reach out and rely on others.